Pale Words
by goldnote
Summary: Sequel to The Heart Of A Fool. After the accident involving the death of a patient and of a coworker, House and his team must struggle against the odds to survive. Rated T because it's House...
1. House's First Visit

**Here we are, the new story! The sequel to "The Heart of a Fool." I left some things unanswered in the last story, both on purpose and by mistake (only human!) and I know that a lot of readers wanted to find out what was going on with the letter Cameron wrote and about Mr. Deleyney's son and what happened after the funeral. So, I am starting the sequel as the second book in this little House series... So, "The Heart of a Fool" was the first book and now this is the second one! **

**I am not sure if I am going to update as fast as I did with the other story with this one; something is telling me that I am going to slow down. I want to give the reader more of a chance to savor the story and understand it than just rush through everything, so a new chapter should be posted every other day instead of everyday. I ignored my other stories a bit trying to get the last House fic done and everything, and I don't want to do that again. **

**Onward to the first chapter!**

* * *

House's First Visit

_Hey, Cameron. I don't really know why I'm here, to tell the truth. I just want to get home and get some sleep. Today was a tough day. Stacy got on my back about everything and I did my best not to lose my temper in front of Cuddy and everyone else who could breath fire in my face. I'm going to get an ulcer or something if I have to try and be that nice under pressure again. But, starting tomorrow, the rest of the team is going to be brought in front of the Board of Directors to see who gets their ass handed to them and who escapes with little more than a scratch. I think it's Foreman first; we're going one every day, I heard. Those directors probably only want to deal with one of us a day. I don't blame them; every time we are all together, someone dies, it seems._

_I haven't opened that envelope you dropped in the parking lot. Cuddy gave it to me at the funeral last week, but I just threw it on my dresser. I don't think I want to open it. I know you wrote a lot, the envelope was so thick, but I don't want to deal with any more stress at the moment. I just have to save my team from getting fired. I promise I'll open it sometime, but just not right now._

_Cuddy hinted I could get my job back. I don't know how, considering I was the main cause in Mr. Deleyney's death. You know, it's not like the Graves Disease did anything to kill him... You should see Cuddy now, Cameron. She is so subdued. Maybe because she is going to lose her hospital if she doesn't move fast on the paperwork and do some smooth talking. Who knows? Who cares? If we're all fired, then we won't care about it all anyway. Cuddy spits fire when it comes to me opening my mouth, no matter what I say, and I thought Chase was going to wet his pants when she screamed at Wilson, but after that, the dragon-lady was quiet._

_I don't sound like myself. I still mope around, I am still as sarcastic as ever, but this past week has been weird. There is one empty spot at the discussion table, more slots that have to be filled for clinic duty, and less people to keep track of. I've had to be at the hospital almost every single day for legal work. I'm not getting paid for any of this, which reminds me I have to go job hunting if Cuddy was just pulling my leg about getting my job back. Heh, bad joke. _

_I'm exhausted and I now realize how stupid talking to a tombstone is. It's dark outside right now, the sun just went over the trees. I'm freezing, too. Winter is here and I have to be a numb skull to be standing in the snow, talking to myself. I don't even know if you can hear me._

_Goodnight, Cameron._

* * *

House sat on his couch, freezing. His heat was on, but he didn't know for how long. Depending on how fast he could get a job and how much he still had after the legal matters were taken care of, House didn't know if he could pay his bills. He pulled the blanket closer around his shoulders as he stood up and turned off the TV. He switched the lights off and grumbled. Electricity. Another thing he would lose. Well, that didn't matter if he had no house.

He wandered to the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. His leg throbbed. He had tossed his painkillers out; they had been too much of a temptation to him. After the funeral, for a brief moment, he had considered just putting them all into his mouth and swallowing. He was losing everything, what did a life matter? But, House had ground them all up, taking a twisted pleasure in destroying them, the end of the coffee cup grinding the pills into a bitter powder, which he then flushed down the toilet. Let them all end up in the sewer, in the water supply, where ever things like painkiller went. They were not going to haunt him anymore. As long as he was losing everything to his choice to detox, the world be damned if he was going to take the pills again. He had slipped back too many times before, with less on the line.

"You can't be who you were. You just have to be who you are!"

Wilson's voice echoed in his mind, one of the last things said before Mr. Deleyney's son had brandished the gun and let loose the bullet that killed Cameron. He had lost a co-worker because of his stupidity to not shove her out of the way. How could he have known, though? House shook his head and collapsed into bed. He had to be at the hospital early the next morning, for Foreman's hearing in front of the board. It was announced that everyone involved in the accident would be present for the verdict of every doctor who was a part of the murder of Mr. Deleyney's and Dr. Cameron.

Before he shut his eyes, House spotted the light purple envelope on his dresser and groaned. Why had he went to see her today? Why? What in the hell was he hoping to accomplish by that? He hoped he never was that stupid again to stand out in the snow and talk to a dead person. He bet she didn't even know he had visited her grave.

**

* * *

Here is the first chapter! I am experimenting with different styles every few chapters, I've decided, most of them revolving around everyone visiting Cameron's grave. So, I'll tell the story in real time before or after someone talks to Cameron, so we have the literal and the emotional views of things. Thanks for reading and please drop me a review! Thanks!**


	2. Foreman's First Visit

**Thank you for the reviews so far! This is easily the toughest story I am working on right now, and I'm going to keep it to a level of excellence! (Well, every story should be written to level of excellence, I think, but it all depends on what excellence is!) I have a few plans for this story and I want everything to be smooth and interesting. Thank you for reading so far and here we go!**

* * *

Foreman's First Visit

_I don't know who has all come to visit you yet, Cameron, but I thought that it would be appropriate for me to drop off a flower or two before the hearing. I have to go in front of the entire Board of Directors in another hour; Stacy is probably pacing her office right now, wondering where I am. But, she's just going to have to wait a few more minutes._

_I'm terrified, girl... I know what to say because Stacy drilled me on it yesterday; I think we spent a few hours, at least, working on ass-kissing. I know I can keep my cool in there, but I don't think House can. Everyone is going to be there: the whole team, Cuddy, Stacy, as well as a few other doctors who were not involved in this mess, just so they can witness what happens to a doctor who messes up, no matter what his rank or who he works with. House was furious that they are allowed to sit in on the hearing. I think it's mostly because he doesn't want them to know how badly I messed up, because that reflects on him, but I know that your death is going to come up at that meeting; there is still an investigation going on, you know? _

_Mr. Deleyney's funeral was the other day, too, across town. The guy who pulled the gun wasn't allowed to go, not even with a police escort, and he tried to kill House because of his father's death. Ironic, huh, that, in killing another person, you are not justified for the death of one you love? That's what bothers me. Yeah, we all helped kill Mr. Deleyney in a way; we couldn't find the cause of the illness, although it was right under our noses, and we only made matters worse by treating him for the wrong things, taking a stab in the dark based on things we thought we knew. But, his own son couldn't attend his funeral. I'm not sticking up for him, though. I mean, if he hadn't pulled the trigger, I wouldn't be standing here in the snow with a flower in my hand, but there are just some things that should be pushed aside, you know?_

_You probably don't know. I'm just standing here, babbling to you. I brought a daisy. The guy at the flower shop looked at me like I was a little nuts, asking for a single daisy when winter has started, but I only had pocket change on me and there was an out of season sale. What am I saying? I really need to go._

_But, Cam, can you watch out for me today, please? Right about now, I need someone up there looking out for me? We all do. Especially House. Thanks..._

* * *

"Dr. Foreman, you lost a hazardous sample belonging to Mr. Deleyney, is that correct?" asked the director, reviewing the file in front of him. Foreman shook his head and then, catching the look Stacy gave him from the corner of his eye, said, "Yes, sir. That is correct."

"Dr. House found this sample, leading him to the action of combining medicine with this sample and injecting it back into Mr. Deleyney's system?"

"I don't see what this has to do with Dr. Foreman," Stacy said, as diplomatic as ever, sitting next to Foreman in front of all the directors, voice calm. "Yes, Dr. House used the sample, but Dr. House is not the one sitting in front of the board at the moment. Can be please continue?"

House shifted in the back, sighing. In the back of the large board room, behind Foreman, House sat on one of the uncomfortable office chairs that sat in a row against the wall. Chase, who was sitting next to him, shook his head at House, Cuddy warning both of them to be silent. It felt odd to not have Cameron's presence there next to them. Cuddy reached into her purse to touch the corner of the envelope that held the letter Cameron had left behind. She kept it with her, now, after finding it on Cameron's desk while her family came to collect their daughter's things.

"Dr. Foreman was also at the scene of the crime when Dr. Allison Cameron was shot and murdered by the patient's son?"

"Yes, I was, sir."

"What did you witness?"

"Um, I was in the parking lot, and it was snowing. I remember Cameron-"

"Dr. Cameron," hissed Stacy, glaring.

"Dr. Cameron," Foreman corrected, wincing. "I recall Dr. Cameron running to Dr. House and holding a purple envelope. Then, Mr. Deleyney's son walked out of the hospital, standing under the overhead by the entrance, holding a gun. There was a moment of silence and then the gunshot. Camer- Dr. Cameron fell to the ground as Mr. Deleyney's son ran behind the building to the east end parking lot and drove off. Doctors and nurses ran from the hospital after hearing the gunshots and took Dr. Cameron with them inside as the police were alerted. The team and I walked back inside and waited for the police."

"Is this all what happened, to the best of your ability to recall the situation?"

"Yes, it is, sir."

"What was in the purple envelope Dr. Cameron-"

"That's none of your business," House sat, standing up to face the director he had just interrupted. "That is private material and none of it relates to Dr. Foreman."

The director narrowed his eyes as House.

"We will talk about this at your own hearing, then, Dr. House. You may sit down, now."

House half heartedly muttered an apology and resumed his seat, Cuddy looking as if she was about to attack House right there on the spot, regardless of where they were.

"Now, Dr. Foreman, I believe the directors have reached a decision regarding your license to practice and any penalties that are in hand. The financial matters will not be decided at this meeting, however, a separate meeting required at a later date concerning the matters the family of Mr. Deleyney have charged against you."

Foreman felt his throat closing, his vision becoming blurry, and he clasped his hands in his lap, staring straight ahead at the director talking.

"You will be suspended from legally practicing medicine for the duration of one month, then put on probation for three years. If you violate any terms of probation, your license will be revoked by this hospital and affiliated hospitals. You are not to dispense any medicine without clearing it with the hospital supervisor, Dr. Cuddy. Do you agree with these terms?"

"Yes, sir, I do."

"A record will be made of this on your permanent file. You may leave now, Dr. Foreman."

The director waved his hand, dismissing Foreman from the table. Stacy heaved a sigh and gathered her things.

"You were let off pretty easy for what I thought he was going to do to you," she muttered to Foreman, the doctor nodding in agreement. He thought he was going to lose his job for sure. But, the matter was not over yet; there was still the meeting dealing with the financial part of his "punishment" in another week.

"Tomorrow afternoon, we will review Dr. Chase. That will be all."

The directors stood and left the room in a single file, nearly all of them glaring down their noses at House. House gave them sappy smiles until they left, resisting the urge to beat every one of them with his cane.

_

* * *

I did it, Cameron! I'm still a doctor. House managed to keep his mouth shut and Stacy's advice was just what I needed to pass by. I'm on probation for a few years, and I basically have to go to Cuddy every time I have to wipe my nose, but I still have a job. I still don't know about the money I owe from the demands of Mr. Deleyney's family. I just don't know how I am going to pay that off, but for now, I at least have a job. Chase is tomorrow. The poor guy looked like he was going to vomit already when we left the boardroom. I wish you were here to comfort him. A hug from me doesn't mean the same as a hug from you. Thanks, Cameron. I just meant to stop by after the hearing; I still need to get home, but I picked up another one of those flowers for you. Just one didn't look right._

_Bye, Cameron._

**

* * *

There we are! I wanted to get just a touch of sappiness in there before I ended, and I think it's nice that Foreman brought her some flowers, no matter how out of season they were! I'm doing a pattern with the flowers, if you want to pay attention to that in future chapters...**

**Thanks for reading and please drop me a review! Thanks! **


	3. Chase's First Visit

**Sorry for the lack of updates! A lot of things have been happening and life has been busy! It's my birthday tomorrow, and I have been in a few organizations that have kept me away from my pen and paper (and keyboard)! So, all of that mixed together is one big tangled ball of string! But, you don't want to read excuses, you want to read a story!**

* * *

Chase's First Visit

"Dr. Chase, you worked with the patient during the duration of the case, correct?" asked a member of the hospital board, never glancing at the doctor in question.

"Yes, sir, I did."

"You deny you did anything directly to cause Mr. Deleyney's death, correct?"

"Yes, sir, I do."

House rolled his eyes from where he sat in the back of the room, like he had for Foreman's hearing the previous day. The formality was going to kill him; that and the quiet between questions and answers. Stacy was sitting at the table next to Chase, who was pale and sweating, his hands clenching and twisting in his lap. Foreman, who was sitting next to House, shook his head. They had been doing this for about a half an hour, questioning Chase about the simple details over and over again, waiting for a slip. The moment he even hesitated to answer a question, the directors would pounce on him.

"You are in possession of a handgun, correct?"

"No sir. I was in possession of a handgun once, but it was taken away after the shooting as, um, evidence."

Chase bowed his head, feeling the tears well in his eyes. He promised himself he was not going to lose control, that he was going to keep everything buried. He had tried not to think of Cameron since the funeral and it had almost worked until that moment. The hospital director in charge of torturing the young man looked over the thin rim of his glasses, raising an eyebrow, eyes cold.

"Dr. Chase, if you could regain control of your emotions, we could continue?"

Stacy poked Chase in the ribs and Chase looked up, sniffling a bit.

"Yes, sir, we can continue."

"Now, you were incarcerated for a brief period of time for assaulting another doctor; bail was paid in a time period of one hour by a Stacy Warner, correct?"

"Yes, sir, that is correct."

House shifted in his chair. The director was really getting on his nerves; always ending a sentence with 'correct' was annoying. House didn't like to be annoyed. Or played with, for that matter, when it came to matters such as this, and he was furious that the director was toying with one of his team members like a cat with string. Chase deserved better than this; looking down the row of chairs to where Cuddy sat, arms crossed, House raised an eyebrow. Cuddy shook her head and sighed softly; she didn't like this, either.

"You brought the handgun in question to the hospital the next day, storing it in your personal office space-"

"A desk," muttered House, scrunching his face and shaking his head. "A desk, not 'personal office space...'"

"-and you then left your office to do what, Dr. Chase?"

"I went to comfort a co-worker, sir."

"To confront a co-worker? Did I hear correctly?" asked the director, tilting his head while jotting something down in a file.

"No, sir, to comfort a team member, a friend of mine. You heard incorrectly."

Chase's voice choked with emotion at the end of the sentence and Stacy made to elbow him in the ribs once more, but thought better of it. There was obviously something Chase needed to get off his chest. The director crossed out the scribble in the file and laid his pen on the table, the room silent.

"Then, after you 'comforted' this person, you followed them?"

"Yes, I did, sir. I followed her to the parking lot, trying to convince her to think before what she was going to do."

"What was this person going to do?"

House felt his rage bubbling. Cameron was not to be called 'this person.' Cameron was Dr. Allison Cameron and Chase was not just an ant to burn under a magnifying glass. This director was a jerk, House decided, and woe be to them both if he was the one doing the questioning when House was put in front of the board.

"She was going to give Dr. House a letter, sir."

"What did this letter say?"

"How many times do I need to say this?" said House loudly, not even bothering to stand up. "That letter is none of your business. It's no one's business but my own and how about we stop playing the game 'Let's Drag Dr. House Into Everything'?"

House's voice was booming and Cuddy reached across Foreman and took his hand, gripping it tightly. House felt Cuddy's nails dig into his skin and knew that, if he said one more word, besides an apology, the nails would draw blood.

"I apologize. No one is playing that game; I forgot."

House sucked his teeth and tried to rub the marks out of his hand as Cuddy took her nails from his skin, giving him a warning glance.

"Continue with the events as they happened, Dr. Chase," continued the director, his voice strained.

"As I said, I followed her out into the parking lot, where Dr. Foreman and Dr. Wilson were helping Dr. House load boxes-"

"To the point, Dr. Chase."

"Sorry, sir. I realized the man had the gun by the time I saw Dr. Foreman duck and saw the man's shadow behind me. I jumped to the side and heard the gun fire. The man dropped the gun and ran off. It was only then I realized Allison was dying-"

Chase lost his emotions completely, sobs shaking his shoulders, the doctor hiding his head in his hands. The directors grumbled among themselves.

"Take him out of here, someone," ordered the director who had been questioning Chase. Wilson stood and escorted Chase from the room, followed by Cuddy. That left Stacy, Foreman, and House to hear the verdict. They sat there, seemingly forgotten, until one of the directors ordered them out as well.

_

* * *

Allison, hi. How are you doing?_

_That was stupid, sorry. I don't know how to start everything off. I really suck at this sort of thing, talking to other people. I sound like House right about now, don't you think? I just wanted to come and get some things off my mind before I go home. Foreman told me he brought flowers yesterday and I thought that was a good idea. I found some forget-me-nots. I thought you might like them... I'm just going to get to the point: my hearing was today and I lost it. I ended up having to leave the room._

_Cameron, I just can't stop thinking about you, now. All day today, I cried. I cried like an idiot, in front of everyone, just thinking about you again. I couldn't even hear my own verdict. They came out and told me later, as I sat in the waiting room, trying to control myself. It turns out I have to attend anger management classes because of my accident with House that day and I'm not allowed to possess a firearm for years and years to come. That won't be a problem for me, though; I never want to hold another gun in my hands, seeing what mine did to you. I'm also on suspension for a month and I have a probationary period for one year. They made it clear that they were being lenient on me._

_I bet it was because they pitied me._

_I'm freezing and I need to get home; Foreman was going to stay the night at my place, on the sleeper sofa, to make sure I'm alright and, if he gets there before I do, there'll be hell to pay. I just didn't want to go home and toss and turn, knowing I didn't give you any flowers or talk to you at all, considering how close we were before. You remember all the good times we had together. You were more than just a friend, Cameron. You knew who I really was and you let me tell you my deepest secrets. I miss you; I miss seeing you, holding you, taking you to dinner or out to lunch._

_I love you, Cameron, and I'll come back sometime. Just wait for me, okay? _

_Just wait..._

**

* * *

I made it so angst-y at the end, I almost couldn't stand it, but I love how sappily romantic it is. There are some things left unsaid between Chase and Cameron and there is something going on here that will come out sometime during the story. (Don't worry; so far, Chase isn't going to commit suicide or anything drastic...)**

**Please leave me a review and tell me what you think! I love hearing from those who read my stories, no matter if they like them or not (I don't think I have to worry about any flames, thank goodness; everyone here is very civil and polite, as far as I know!) Thank you so much for reading and hopefully I'll be a little quicker in my updates! Thanks again!**


	4. Wilson's First Visit

_Here is an update! Thanks so much to all of you who wished me a happy birthday! I had a great birthday and now, that life is slowing down a little, I can update! Here is this chapter, in all it's glory! (Joking, joking...)_

_About the characters being melodramatic or sappy over Cameron: I'll slow that down a little and trim off some of the drama, but I really want everyone, especially Chase, to be really emotionally unstable at the moment. I have a plan for House and it's going to be great... just as soon as everyone thinks everything can be back to normal again, House emotionally crashes... I think; it's just an idea I'm toying around with. My plot lines change by the day and it's rare that a story ever ends how I planned it at the beginning. _

* * *

Wilson's First Visit

Chase and Foreman were talking last night, after Chase's hearing in front of the board, and I thought I would come and pay you a visit. We never really talked as much as you talked with Chase or House, but I still want to tell you some things...

Today, my hearing went well. I was busted for ignoring the case, and leaving paperwork where it wasn't supposed to be, but that was it. I was asked again what role I had to play in your death and I found it a little difficult to think about you. I didn't want to tell them a single word about how you died and how I saw you fall to the ground, dying, but I told them the best I could. Chase didn't have to leave the room this time.

Yesterday was embarrassing for him, we all could see it. He was here, I can tell, because I see forget-me-nots next to the daisies Foreman left. I wonder what he told you. I wish you were here to tell us what is going on with that man. What was going on with you, though, is what I'm curious about. Now that I have my own hearing out of the way, I can worry about something else. I still have the financial matter of the lawsuit the Deleyney family is pressing upon us, but that won't be taken care of until after the trial.

The trial is to be in another few weeks, about a month from now. Because the Deleyney's have so much power in the business world, apparently they have influence over the law, because they got their trial pushed up above other trials, those that actually have more importance than a few doctors and a patient who might have died anyway, no matter what we did for him. The trial is to cover two parts: the actual failure of the case along with the financial matters, and your murder. The Deleyney son is in jail at the moment, no bail available, otherwise he probably would have been busted out by now with the family money. What makes me so mad is that the Deleyney's already have so much money and they want to squeeze the hospital dry and ruin our lives. But, I suppose we ruined their life by mistreating the case and causing the death of their husband and father. To be fair, it was House that injected Mr. Deleyney with the tainted medicine.

I once told myself that I would hate House forever if he lost me my job and my money; if my life was turned upside down, I wouldn't speak with him ever again. I now realize that was stupid of me. I couldn't ever hate him forever. I can't hate him for more than a day or two before we talk like old friends, playing paper football or hangman on the white board. We act like little kids when we're together and I don't think I would ever want to lose that, no matter what he would cost me because of his mistakes. There are always other jobs out there and it wouldn't kill me to leave the hospital, considering all the problems we are having right now.

I just don't know what has gotten into him lately. I didn't mention the envelope you gave him, the one Cuddy picked up in the parking lot after he brought House back to the hospital. The director wanted to ask about it, I could tell, but I wasn't going to tell him anyway. That is strictly between you and House; although I can't help but wonder what you wrote. I notice Cuddy had an envelope, too, an orange one, and she kept reaching into her purse. Her hearing is tomorrow and I think she has the most to lose of all of us, except House, of course. She could lose her job and be demoted to one of us, just a simple doctor. I think she would hate that. I think she would even quit and seek a job at another hospital.

I think all of us are contemplating leaving the hospital, some of us even picking a different career path. Foreman said something about being a high school history teacher. Honestly, he did. I think he was trying to make a joke, but his eyes didn't look like he was joking. After all the money we probably will have to pay, I don't think he'll be able to afford college classes to get his degree as an educator. Plus, it's learning something else, picking the second thing over the first choice. He's a great doctor, we all are great doctors... We just made a few mistakes.

Cuddy told me today that she felt a little jealous that you got out of it so easily. She's still mad that you betrayed her trust, I think, but Cuddy really has her heart in the right place. I guess she feels that you escaped all these problems by your death and you've left everything for us to clean up. Cameron, I think she is right. The more I think about it, the more jealous I get, too. You get to rest and watch over us as we struggle just to keep our dignity. I understand that you probably wouldn't have wanted to get hit with that bullet, that would wouldn't have wanted to leave us, but I can't help but wonder what I would have done. I just don't like this, any of this. Second guessing myself is the worst thing I could do and that's what I'm doing right now.

I've gotta run, Cameron. I brought just one flower. I thought that you would have liked it if you could see it. It's a poppy. It's a fake poppy, mind you, one of those cheap cloth ones, but I couldn't get to the flower shop on time; they closed a few minutes before I arrived. I'll find you a real one someday and bring it to you. Just tell me that you are watching out for us. If you just left and didn't even look back, I don't think any of us would get through the rest of the hearings and the trial.

Watch out for us, Allison. We're doing our best to protect your memory here, but you have to keep an eye out for us for now. Please, Cameron. Please.

_

* * *

Wow, not a bit of angst taken out of this chapter, huh? I didn't want to have a boardroom scene for this one; I just wanted Wilson to babble to Cameron, saying whatever is on his mind, switching from one topic to another. I wanted to give a glimpse into everything before I do Cuddy's chapter and add what was in that letter Cameron gave her. You'll find out soon! House's letter is still a little way off, yet, but Cuddy's letter is a preview of House's. Thanks for reading and leave a review, please! Thanks so much!_


	5. Cuddy's Hearing

_You asked for it and here it is: Cuddy's chapter. I was going to work on another story today, but I thought, "A lot of people read this one more than any of my other stories and I wouldn't want to disappoint my loyal fans!" I must be crazy: I started a new story last night, but it shouldn't take any time from this one. My House fics are always my serious stories, the ones I work on to strengthen my writing. My marching fics and book fics are mostly for fun! Anyway, you want to read and I'm not going to delay you any longer._

_What is really in the letter Cameron wrote to Cuddy is not going to be discussed this chapter, but it will next chapter. I'm going to have a little cliffhanger here at the end... Hehe. _

* * *

Cuddy's Hearing

"Ms. Cuddy, I-"

"Dr. Cuddy, if you don't mind," the hospital director cut in, much to Stacy's displeasure. The board member raised his eyebrows and made eye contact with Cuddy and, after several seconds, Cuddy never blinking, the director went back to the chart in front of him.

"Dr. Cuddy, you were the director at the time of this accident, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"You confronted Dr. House and his team before or after Mr. Deleyney's death?"

"Before. I called each of them after his death."

"What happened when you confronted Dr. House?"

"It should be in the record. I don't see the need to repeat it."

Once more, the board member and the director made eye contact and the board member sighed.

"It would help if you would cooperate, Dr. Cuddy."

"It would help if you would stop asking stupid questions."

Everyone in the room looked at House, who had directed his comment to the board member with Cuddy's file. House bit his lip and shrugged as Cuddy whipped around and glared at him, Stacy ready to shoot fire from her eyes.

"Okay, never mind that last statement," House muttered. Stacy, after giving him one final look of distaste, turned around and apologized for both of her clients. Cuddy was grateful for House's intervention, though, and didn't flame him. If he hadn't said it, there was no guarantee that she would have been able to keep her own mouth shut.

"Continuing, Dr. Cuddy; After Dr. Cameron's accident, what happened?"

"Dr. Cameron was rushed into the emergency wing of the hospital and everything was done to keep her in stable condition while we found the bullet. The bullet had penetrated several vital organs, including her lungs and her liver; the bullet had fragmented and there was no possible way to extract every piece before her condition worsened. We kept her alive for nearly seven minutes after the shooting, but we knew that she would not survive. Everything that was available was done to save Dr. Cameron, but her condition was-"

"Who else was in the room with Dr. Cameron?"

"How does this-"

"Just answer the question, Dr. Cuddy."

Cuddy wished House would open his big mouth again and save her from this one, but no such luck. She cleared her throat as Stacy flipped through papers, trying to find something that would keep the board member from asking any more uncomfortable questions. As frustrating as it was, what he was asking was legal, but not essential to the case. It was almost as if it was one big mystery to solve, revolving around Cameron's death, when everything was actually very simple.

"Dr. Chase, Dr. Wilson, Dr. Foreman, Dr. House, and Mrs. Warner," answered Cuddy. It was odd to talk about every one of the team members with a title.

"Including yourself?"

"Yes, I was there, too."

"When did everyone arrive in the room? After Dr. Cameron's death? Before?"

Stacy broke in, saving Cuddy from answering.

"Sir, this pertains to the upcoming trial of the Deleyney son, not to Dr. Cuddy and her vulnerable position as hospital director. May we stick to the topic at hand: Dr. Cuddy and any legal reasons why she should be penalized?"

Cuddy sighed. She wrote herself a mental note to buy Stacy lunch. Or dinner.

_That day was so difficult to get through; it was one of the only times she had seen House tear up. When the doctors realized there was nothing they could do for Cameron, who was unconscious the entire time from the shooting to her death, Cuddy had allowed the team to enter the room. Foreman had come in first, with Chase, to say their goodbyes. Foreman had said kind words and left, pulling Cuddy out of the room so Chase could say a few private words. He came out a minute later, wiping his eyes on his lab coat. Stacy and Cuddy and Wilson had went in next, Wilson's eyes gleaming, Cuddy and Stacy huddled together like women do when there is tragedy. When it was apparent Cameron had only another minute to live, they had left and tried to convince House to see her before she left._

_House had been sitting on a cushioned bench outside her hospital room, his hands still covered in her blood, his head bowed. He was not going to go in and see her. He would do it, no matter what Foreman said, no matter how much Wilson consoled him, no matter how much Cuddy told him he would regret it if he didn't go in there. Finally, Cameron's time was up and the monitors went off, alerting the doctors the patient's heart had failed and the lack of oxygen to the brain due to her collapsed lungs was shutting the rest of her body down. Chase had collapsed against Foreman, a complete mess, as Cuddy and Wilson went back into the room to turn off the monitors. The calm Cuddy had felt as she walked toward the room, the instinct to run and attempt to save whoever was attached to the monitors failing; Cuddy felt the world stop turning as she turned off the power and the silence the alarms left in their wake was painful._

_She had looked out of the room, though the glass, to see House still sitting there, looking back at her before he looked at Cameron, laying there peacefully, the look on her face one of comfort despite all the blood loss and injury she had sustained. As Foreman took Chase to his office, Cuddy stayed with Cameron as Wilson went to get House away before Cameron's body was transferred._

_The tears shinning in House's eyes, never falling, made Cuddy's heart ache._

_He had the heart of a fool._

"Dr. Cuddy, are you going to be alright? Do you need to leave the room?"

The board member looked at the hospital director curiously, not genuinely concerned, and Cuddy nodded her head.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just needed to stop and think for a few moments."

"Good. Then we can carry on?"

"My client said yes," Stacy answered for Cuddy, her voice abrupt. The board member cleared his throat.

"Then an agreement has been reached by the members of this board," he announced, loud enough for the whole room to hear. "Dr. Cuddy will keep her position of hospital director, but only under the legal and ethical advice of her lawyer, Ms. Stacy Warner."

Stacy's jaw dropped as Cuddy sat there quietly, absorbing the news. Stacy would be her adviser for everything Cuddy had to do. It had to be cleared with her before Cuddy could order equipment, medication, or even accept new patients. Anything she had power over as a director was now in Stacy's hands.

"Dr. Cuddy will not be allowed to practice medicine for the duration of two months and will be put on probation as long as her term of director is held. That will be all. The financial matters will be settled, as the board has said before, in one group after the trial, one month from now. Tomorrow, Dr. House will be brought before the board. That will be all for today."

Stacy squeezed Cuddy's arm as the board members walked out of the room, House exchanging the usual smarmy glances with each and every one of them. Wilson and Foreman left, House following them.

"Chase, stay behind, please," said Cuddy, her voice strong, but failing with every word. Chase walked up to Cuddy and stood at her shoulder, waiting for an order to sit or perform a task.

"Would you like a moment alone?" Stacy asked, gathering her papers and briefcase.

"Yes, please. Thank you, Stacy. I'll be talking with you soon."

Stacy nodded and left the room, the door slowly swinging shut behind her.

"Sit down, Chase," Cuddy ordered, the blond doctor taking a seat next to her, his eyes dim and sad. "We have something that we need to discuss. Cameron wrote me a letter, and there are some things in there I think you should know about."

_

* * *

Sorry for the cliffhanger, but this chapter was already too long! Hehe. Don't worry, everything will be explained next chapter. (I keep saying that, don't I? Well, I promise you, it will!)_

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! Thanks again! I'll update soon! _


	6. House's Fear

_Sorry for the lack of updates on this one... I just had to take a break. I find this story to be really draining whenever I work on it and I don't work as well drained as when I have fresh ideas and thoughts. So, I'm glad that I have this chapter down and I am planning on updating in the next day or two. Once again, I'm really sorry for the snail pace I'm taking on this story! Thanks for all the reviews, so far; every word means so much to me!_

* * *

House's Fear

I shouldn't be here right now.

I should be at the hospital, sitting next to Stacy at my hearing in front of the hospital directors, but I'm not. I'm about ten minutes late right now, none of them knowing where I am. If they call my house, they'll just get the answering machine. My pager is off. Unless Wilson blabbed, no one knows I'm here with you right now. I only told him because he wrung it out of me and he knows how much this really means to me, keeping my job. But if I really wanted to keep my job, why would I be here, standing in the snow, my leg throbbing, talking to you when you're below the ground, unable to hear me?

It's so quiet right now. There is not even a wind. The sky is so bright, the snow glittering under the cold sunlight. There is no warmth here. I've been off my painkiller for about two weeks, now. Two weeks ago, you were still alive, standing in my office, trying to make me take my fury out on you so the others wouldn't have to bear it. You were really stupid in doing that, being so noble and brave when you knew I could snap you like a twig. What makes a person do something like that, sacrifice themselves for others, even if the 'others' don't like them?

I still don't know if you jumped in front of that bullet or if it just happened to hit you instead of me. Last night I had a dream, I saw that bullet rushing toward my heart and I felt you cringe away from the man with the gun, clinging to me for protection. I pushed you away and, as I felt the bullet hit my chest, I woke up, cold sweat pouring down my face. I hate dreaming. Dreaming only shows you things you don't want to see, things you wish would have happened only to push you back into reality. You don't want to see those things in your dreams because you're afraid you can't handle it when you wake up. I know that's how I feel.

It shows me that I am human, just a weak minded person, one of the numerous jerks that wander around, expecting life to get better because, at the moment, it couldn't get much worse. I hate feeling like this, so helpless. You know better than I do, perhaps, how egotistical I can be, how I hate to be proved wrong. Right now, I'm standing here, helpless, knowing I should be at that meeting, knowing that, if the rest of the team can't cover for me and keep the directors at bay, I'm going to lose all hopes of getting my job back. At the moment, I don't even know if I'm still fired or about to be fired or what.

I still haven't opened the letter. I don't want to, but I do at the same time. I held it in my hands last night, after the dream, and I ripped one corner of the envelope, starting to pull the paper apart, and then I stopped, seeing the bloodstain on the opposite end. I knew that it wasn't time to know everything, not yet. I have so many people who keep bringing the letter up, eager to know what was in it. They all want to know what the beautiful Cameron had to say to the beastly House before she was murdered. It's the talk of the hospital. I hate the way they stare at me.

Cameron, I need a sign. I hate to be so stupid as to ask you for one, but I need it. This is not original, the heartbroken man standing at the grave of the dead woman, asking for her help, but I understand how this can happen. When I open the envelope, I need it to be at the right moment. It's driving me crazy, every time I see it, I just want to rip it up, but then I would never know what you said. Cuddy pulled Chase back in the boardroom yesterday, telling him about what you said in the letter you gave her. Damn Cuddy; she opened her letter and I can't open mine. Don't ask me why I'm being so stupid. I know I am being stupid, but I just can't help but be a fool.

I hear a car, the tires crunching against the snow. I think it's Wilson. Yep, it's him, running toward me, probably to bring me to the hospital... I could really use a pill right now. I've been clean for longer than I remember and it hurts. It hurts to try to be something else, to pull myself out of the hole I willingly climbed into. This isn't me. Without the pills, I'm not who you used to know.

Before Wilson gets here, I might as well say it; after all, that's why I came here.

I'm afraid that I won't be the person you remember by the time I get to see you again. In a handful of years, it won't be an 'if,' it'll be a 'when.' I'm getting older and my health is not what it used to be; I'm a doctor, I know the effects of painkiller on the body after the amount of time I've been taking them. I know that my liver will fail and I won't be able to go on much longer without that. But, that's not going to happen anytime soon; I'm just trying to cover myself before I can't do anything else to prevent death. I can't help but think ahead. That would just fix everything for me, to die, but leave more mess behind for the others to clean up, just like you did. I know how angry Wilson is. I know how bitter Cuddy feels. You left us. You left me.

I couldn't help but notice the flowers here. I'll see what I can do next time I come here. I just babbled like an idiot this entire time and I'm probably going to be in such trouble by the time I get to the hospital. Cuddy will probably kill me if Stacy doesn't get to me first.

Remember, Cameron. Remember that you have to tell me when to open that damn letter. If you want to torture me, fine, you have the right to do that, after all that I did to you. I just want to say quickly that I should have helped you up when your shoe broke and you fell on my office floor. I just walked away. You have all the right to punish me for that.

_

* * *

Sorry if this didn't really explain everything. I wanted to get one last snippet of emotion from House before we jump into all the big action stuff and I won't be able to add his feelings in for a few more chapters. I like to have House spill his feelings every once in a while. It might not sound like him, but who knows? People always have deep secrets they need to divulge... Thanks for reading and please leave me a review!_


	7. Forget Me Nots

**I am really sorry to all the readers who liked this story and became frustrated that there were no updates for a while... I just got really burned out on this story. I think I was trying to avoid it because I wouldn't work on this story until Noondarkly poked me for an update! Thanks for jolting me back, Noondarkly! I just need to slow down on this story and not pack so much energy into it (my own energy, not the basic energy a story has, if that makes any sense...) So, this is going to be short, but I'm going to do the best I can to get a good story out. Thanks so much for reading and I can't wait to hear from you.**

* * *

Forget Me Nots

_Cuddy told me everything you wrote, Cameron. _

_I never knew._

_Allison, I don't know whether to get on my knees and cry or curse you. If you would have told me, we could have worked everything out. If I would have known how scared you were that night, when I took you home... I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have pressured you into being with me that night, to stay with me. I should have known better. But you should have spoken up._

_I didn't really realize I was ignoring you. Honestly; we had just admited Mr. Deleyney and I was so busy... I assumed we were alright the morning after, you know... I had no clue that you really loved House, that I was his replacement or something. I know that you wanted someone to love, someone to love you. _

_I'm just sorry that you wanted House instead of me._

_Allison, if you had said no to coming home with me, no before doing all the things we did, telling me no before we said the things we said, none of this pain I'm feeling would be here now. I know you are gone and, since you've passed on, all your pain is gone, too. But I think you've heaped all of this on me. I can't go on without knowing for sure, Cameron, if you really meant all you said in that letter to Cuddy._

_I feel so used and old. I feel like something someone just picked up as a passing fancy instead of an actual person. I guess this is how women feel after men just have their way with them and leave, never to see them again. I guess this is sort of what happened; I just had my way with you and you left. And now I can never see you again._

_I really loved you, Cam. I know I told that to you, and I won't forget how beautiful you looked, from the day I met you to the day you died. I loved you. I never acted on it for a serious relationship, though, because I took you for granted. I thought you would always be there, or at least be there long enough until I worked up the courage to actually take everything to the next level. I won't forget the way you felt in my arms that night or the way I held you in the hallway before you rushed out of the hospital._

_If I wouldn't have ignored you, maybe I could have seen what you had for House, that egotistical bastard who never loved you. He took all he could from you except the one thing I took. And he gave you everything I didn't._

**

* * *

I like how short the chapter is and how heartfelt it is, too. I just want to get a lot of the emotional stuff over with so, when we reach the trial and everything, it will all flow better... Thanks so much for reading and I apologize again for the lack of updates. Now that I have worked on it for the first time in a week, I can pace myself again! Thanks and please review! Happy Reading!**


	8. Daisies

**I was just in such a bad mood that I had to write. I didn't care what story I updated, so I guess it's this one! I guess I am just going to take out my bad mood on Foreman, because that's the type of author I am... **

* * *

Daisies

_I figured I would find Chase here, but he must have left already. I can see his footprints in the snow and there are a few forget me nots here. Must have been him. If you could only tell me what he said._

_Yesterday, after Cuddy pulled him back after her hearing in front of the hospital board, he has looked like hell. I saw him look like this a few weeks ago during your funeral, and now that haunted look has come over him again. His face is all pale, his hair uncombed, his eyes dull with dark circles under them. I talked with Cuddy after he came out of the room, nearly sobbing. Cuddy was crying, too. She tucked the letter you gave her back in her purse. We all know about it. We just don't know what is in it._

_House looks like hell, too. He has his same dark demeanor, but his sarcasm isn't as good as it once was and he stays quiet when the House we all knew before would say whatever was on the tip of his tongue. He still has his temper, but it's like the fire had died down or something. We don't ask him what is in his letter. _

_Chase told me a few weeks ago, right before this whole thing started with Mr. Deleyney, that he had taken you home with him one night after work and you two, well, I don't think I have to say it; you were there, huh? He told me this today, after the hospital board nearly suspended House right there and then because he showed up late. I'm not going to tell you how that went, I'm just going to let him tell you himself. That's none of my business what he wants you to know. Chase was sitting in his chair the entire time, head bowed. He said he was going to visit you after the hearing and I stayed behind with Cuddy and Wilson. We were going to get drinks and I went to invite Chase, but he had left right after the hearing. We decided to let him go by himself and I was to check up on him._

_I'm not doing a very good job of checking on him, though, huh? Instead, I'm here talking to you. I can do this some other time, Cameron, okay? I know that Chase is taking this harder than I am because he loved you so much. You were my friend, but you meant something more to Chase._

_Whenever I see a daisy, or even a picture of one, I think of you. Don't worry, every time I walk past your old office, too, I think of you. I won't forget about you. I can't come as often as I'd like; it seems like I'm in the same boat Cuddy and Wilson are in: keeping a close watch on Chase and House, to make sure they don't do anything stupid. _

_Talk to you later, Cam._

**

* * *

I wanted this to be a bit lighthearted almost, but still serious. Foreman always has an airy tune, I think, so this could be exactly what he would say. Or maybe not... Anyway, if you can't tell yet, I'm titling the chapters after the flowers each character speaking brings. Wilson had poppies in mind when he thought of Cameron, and House is going to bring the most poetic of all flowers, of course! Cuddy and Stacy might visit Cameron soon, too. I'm going to have a chapter or two coming up where they are not talking to a dead person in the snow and there is some action going on, but that's after I get all the mushy stuff taken care of. Thanks so much for reading and leave a review! Thanks again! (Sorry if I'm not spelling some of the names of the flowers right... let me know of any corrections you see! I can handle being wrong!)**


	9. The Letter And The Rose

_I was really tired of thinking about this story today, and planning out when and where House is going to have a big dramatic scene before the story ends, and everything revolves around his hearing coming up in front of the board of directors before the doctors have to testify in the court case of Mr. Deleyney... I was getting sick of it (is an author allowed to get a little sick of their stories?) and just wanted to get it over and done with. You're not going to know what she said to him, but at least House will know, which will set everyone up for the next few chapters and give me something fresh to write about. Does anyone have any suggestions for me on how long this story should be? I'm not sure if I'm up to something as long as "The Heart Of A Fool" but I don't want to only have to write one or two more chapters, either... hum? Any reader suggestions are much appreciated._

* * *

The Letter And The Rose

House was anxious. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but there was no mistaking that tone in his voice as he muttered to himself, the way his fingers tapped on the arm of the chair he leaned against, the sharp, quick movements he made. He was restless, wanting to get out of the house and do something, but what was there to do at three in the morning?

There was snow falling softly, the moonlight so bright it hurt to look at the snowflakes that made their way tumbling down from the sky. The bare trees held as much snow as they could, little clumps of it falling occasionally to the ground to mar the otherwise smooth surface the snow had made. There were shadows on the ground, but only the shadows of trees and the embittered man himself until he turned off the lights and continued to stare out the window, his own silhouette disappearing.

A sign. There must have been a sign, somewhere, that he missed. Cameron must have told him before now that it was time to read her letter. There must have been a mistake on his part, and House was willing to admit that if it would only let him read Cameron's thoughts, the thoughts she had written down before she died the next day. House set his resolve to find a sign, anything that would tell him Cameron was there.

His house was quiet, the room cold in the light of the snowy night. The furniture cast dull shadows on the floor, the edges blurred, the moonlight paying no attention to detail. That job was left to House, who peered out the window, nearly holding his breath. Tonight had to be the night. It would kill him to wait another day. He had waited for weeks already. Besides, he needed his sleep; his whole body ached with exhaustion. His hearing had not gone well.

The board members had told him that, since he was late, that was not going to help them make their decision on what to do with the doctor. House had been so patient, he had tried to be the best person he could be. He sat there like a fool, like an absolute idiot, as the pompous jerks laid out a sentence for him. Since the hospital director herself had tried to retract the order to fire Dr. House, the board members were going to keep Dr. House because of his medical genius, but since his actions had been related in the death of a patient, he was going to be suspended and his pay decreased. Not to mention the fact House had to answer to anybody. He had limited freedom in the hospital and couldn't even have his own security card to use the lab rooms or retrieve files. Everything had to be done for him. They were keeping him for his mind and his mind alone.

House snarled. It was his mind that had also come up with the poor idea of giving the patient the medicine that had killed him, apparently.

The vase of roses that House had set on the piano were beautiful in the moonlight, House had to admit to himself, laying next to the letter. He had bought them later on in the day, before he came home for the night, planning on bringing them to Cameron's grave, one at a time. As it was, he had only bought three or four, but House didn't know if he wanted to bring her the roses one at a time and stretch his visits, or give her the bunch at once and get it over with. He hated being a hopeless romantic, but he couldn't really help himself at the moment. The lack of energy, sleep, and food, along with the remaining effects of detox, had battered him and beaten him, leaving House with no outer defenses. He knew this was temporary, that he could rebuild the ice walls around himself, to keep out anyone who might think there was an actual person inside the shell of Dr. House, but he wasn't going to help himself until he had that sign.

Surely, if Cameron was able to see him, her heart would break from pity.

She would give him a sign.

* * *

House rubbed his eyes. It was almost morning. He could see the faint rays of golden lights peak over the horizon, the brilliant purple and turquoise of the sky swirling together to disappear until the next morning. The moon was fading away, the sun chasing it to spread it's own rays over the earth and try to undo what the snow had done to the world, to melt some of the ice away from the earth. He still had no sign. Sighing, House turned away from the window, reaching for his cane.

His cane fell away from his clumsy fingers and House, who was already putting his weight on the wood before it fell, started to collapse. Trying to catch himself, House knocked over everything that was on top of the piano. He landed with a dull thump on the piano bench before rolling off of it and under the piano. House wheezed slightly and winced as he felt his bad thigh twitch with pain. He was laying in a puddle of water from the vase, which had broken into large shards of glass. House tried to get up, but put his hand directly over a piece of sharp glass, cutting his fingers.

Swearing, House lay still, trying to wash his fingers in the puddle of water, sighing. He noticed Cameron's letter laying dangerously close to the water and reached out to grab it, to save it from getting wet. House tried to prop himself up, half laying, half sitting under the large instrument, wiping the droplets of water that had not yet penetrated the envelope to get to the precious paper it contained. He was angry with himself for letting himself bleed on the envelope, the blood from his slashed fingers mingling with the water to spread across the envelope, making diluted swirls of blood, patterns forming. House paid no attention to this, trying to gather the roses from the floor and putting them in his lap to keep them from getting crunched. He noticed one pattern, however, the little symbol catching his eye.

There was a faint rose, stem and leaves attached, in the swirl of blood and water. House looked to the rose he held in his hand and could have cried, he was so relieved.

Putting the rose down and wiping away the excess water around the envelope, making sure he did not mar the mark on the paper, House opened his letter from Cameron.

_

* * *

There we are! Hehe... I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Sorry if it was melodramatic or something. I just wanted to kind of float off for a little while! Tell me what you think, please, and I am very happy you read my chapter! Thanks!_


	10. Cuddy's First Visit

**Sorry for the delay in this chapter! I really was burned out on "House" for a little while; I think I need the new season to start or something because I'm just not 'feeling' it, you know? So, I'm sorry about the long time I had to make everyone wait for the next chapter! I am glad that so many people are interested in the story, though! This story has had the most alerts on it that I've ever seen, so I'm thrilled so many people are interested! After the delay, I shouldn't tease the readers with the author's note here, so I'm going to jump back into the story. I just have to keep in mind that this is a sequel to a story and not the first story (although I hardly see why that matters...). The length is a little on the short side, but I have a few more chapters ahead that are really going to push forward at this point. I just need emotional stuff taken care of before I launch into the trial and House really loses it! (Hint, hint...)**

* * *

Cuddy's First Visit

_Cameron, I hope you know what you've done._

_I know it wasn't your fault, getting shot in the first place, but why must you torture us with these damn letters? Why would you give me a letter that concerned Chase and not give it to him yourself? I know you wanted to apologize to me for lying about that bruise and for betraying our friendship, but if you wanted to tell Chase something, you should have let him know personally. Why drag me into this mess you've made?_

_I got a call from Wilson this morning at an ungodly hour, saying he couldn't get a hold of House. He even went to House's apartment and forced his way in, only to find broken glass, puddles of water, and a few roses laying on the floor. House's bike was gone and we called the rest of the team together to find him. Foreman found House at your grave, resting against your headstone, freezing. He had his letter in his hands, clinging to it like a blanket. Even when we got the ambulance here to take him to the hospital, he wouldn't let it go. _

_It's just like him to put himself through hell. He knows the dangers of hypothermia; he could have destroyed himself out here. Already, he's tearing himself apart inside. At least he had enough sense to throw on a jacket. I can't stand him. I find myself wishing now that I wouldn't have taken it all back at the director's meeting the other day, about firing him. He's brilliant, but he already killed two people._

_I count you as one of the people he's killed._

_The trial of Mr. Deleyney's son, Matt, is going to start in a few days. They bumped the trial date to an earlier time because Stacy advised the hospital board it would be better to find out our losses as soon as possible. She pulled a few strings downtown and I thank her for it. We are still going to be lucky if we don't lose the hospital._

_Wilson is riding House's bike back and I'm riding with him. We're going to go through House's apartment and see if there are any drugs he's taking in place of his usual painkiller. It would be pathetic if the man went through detox and triumphed as a result of all of this. Just because he decided to go off his medication... How selfish of House, as usual. I'll check up on House later on today; it doesn't sound like he's in any danger, but he is going to be admitted for a few days, at least, for frostbite and the like._

_You're killing him, Cameron. He killed you with his selfishness and insensitivity and you're killing him with your love. He can't live with it. He can't stand the fact that there is someone who really cares for him and he lost the chance to hold on. He's mad that he couldn't foresee this. He's furious with himself that he's human enough to love something he can't have. _

_If it were not for the fact you apologized to me, I wouldn't be here talking to you._

* * *

"So, you decided to say a few words to Cameron?" Wilson asked, leaning against House's bike, arms crossed, as Cuddy walked toward him. It was hard to read her face and Wilson couldn't begin to imagine what was wrong with her. Perhaps it was the fact that she was woken too early in the morning with so much excitement around her, or maybe the fact that her best diagnostician was found passed out in a cemetery. Whatever it was, it made Cuddy look tired and weak, not the normal look on the woman's face.

"It was the first time I've visited her," Cuddy said, climbing on the bike behind Wilson. "I didn't want to visit her under these circumstances. I didn't really want to visit her at all."

"I felt that way, too, the first time I came here," Wilson said, trying to find the key for the ignition in his jacket pocket. Before House was carted away, Wilson dug through his jacket for the keys, earning a cold look from one of the doctors on hand. How else were they supposed to get House's motorcycle home? Knowing House, he would moan and complain and be worse than usual if his bike was stolen. But what was usual for House nowadays?

"How did you deal with it?"

"I didn't. That's it."

Wilson started the engine and they made their way slowly out of the cemetery, driving under the large, barren trees, their branches drooping toward the earth as though they were burdened with sorrow instead of with snow.

**

* * *

There we are! I know Wilson and Cuddy riding House's bike back isn't really 'in character' but who knows? I liked the idea of them taking care of House's motorcycle, even though they are mad at him. They don't want it to get stolen. But, at the moment, they are both mad at Cameron, too. I don't want to beat the idea of them being mad at her to death with a stick (no pun intended) but, to show their change of heart by the end of the story (I'm just going to give it away at this point) I want it to be blatantly obvious.**

**Thanks for reading and tell me what you think, please! Thanks once more!**


	11. Page One

**Hello! I've finally gotten around to updating this story! I just had no inspiration until this point; I was watching a movie just a little while ago and I had so many great ideas, I just had to incorporate some into this story, so full of angst as it is. I know I was going to leave off with what was in House's letter until the courtroom scene when they all have to testify for Mr. Deleyney's son, but I thought it was better that House read it now and "tell us" what it's all about... I hope you all enjoy and leave me some feedback! But, please keep reading after this chapter; I would be very sad to lose people after they find out what was in the letter! **

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Page One

House lay in the hospital room, exhausted, still cold no matter what the doctors had done to bring his temperature up. He was not at risk of hypothermia anymore, and House was slowly recovering after his midnight stint in the graveyard. Had it only been a handful of hours ago since he was at Cameron's headstone? Time had blurred and House hardly remembered the emergency workers carting him away in the ambulance. Cuddy and Wilson had stayed behind as Foreman and Chase came along, trying to assist the emergency crew in any way possible.

The lights were so bright in the room that House didn't want to open his eyes any wider than a squint, his white blankets reflecting the harsh light into his face. He buzzed for a nurse and snapped at her to dim the room, the nurse obeying and hurrying out of the room. It was the talk of the hospital that Dr. House had been admitted for hypothermia after spending all night outside in the snow. No one knew where he had been, and doctors Foreman and Chase were not speaking to anyone about the matter.

No one had come to visit him besides the nurse in a long time, House thought, wondering if any of the doctors were going to come and check on him. Besides the frostbite, he was considered medically 'out of harm's way' and no one wanted to risk him snapping at them, House supposed. He was too tired to do anything and all the doctor wanted to do was sleep. As he tried to make himself comfortable, falling into the rhythm of his own heartbeat, House looked over at the bed table where he had placed the letter Cameron had given him, only able to read the first page of it from where he lay. He had read it all once, while at the graveyard, but once was all he needed. He tried to forget and remember her words at the same time as he shut his eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep.

_Dear Greg,_

_I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused the past few weeks. I know what I've done was wrong and I don't know what I could say to fix it; I have a feeling my words are only going to make it worse at this point, but I can't live with it all at the moment. I need to let you know._

_House, I went home with Chase one night after work. I'm sure you didn't notice. I needed someone to hold me, to tell me they loved me, to say and do everything you wouldn't. I hurt Chase because he thought I loved him when, in truth, I loved you. You just couldn't see that and I couldn't tell you. I was too weak._

_Love doesn't know what to do with itself until it's too late, I suppose. Even now, I think I'm going to lose you, no matter what I say or do. I just hope that, after you read this letter, you think better of me and tell me how you feel. I know this is almost too much to ask for, but I pray you have the decency to confront the matter instead of hoping it will go away on it's own. _

_Love knows no limits, Greg. I'm afraid that nothing you do will stop me from caring about you. You can hurt me all you want, but nothing is going to change. I will love you. I just hope you can see that in time. I hope Chase will see that, too. I cared for him, I really did, but you were the one I wanted to be with. You, of all people. _

_I can see the future; it's beautiful. _

_I see Chase, sitting at his desk, talking to his wife over the phone, happily married to someone who will love him as much as he said he loved me. I see Foreman, promoted higher than he ever believed possible, making millions because of what he does, richer than Mr. Deleyney himself. I see Wilson, by your side like the faithful friend he is, and I see Cuddy, smiling always how she smiled at me when she found me in your office after I fell. And I see you. I see you holding my hand, your smiles falling like drops of rain upon me, your voice music I've always heard but never listened to before now. _

_I wanted you to know I love everything about you, even the pain and angst you always carry with you, hidden behind that cynical mask you wear. I don't feel the same way any other time besides when I look at you. I can't breathe when you look at me. I know this is something you'll probably just tear up and throw away, passed off as the writings of a love sick girl, but I hope that if you only remember a bit of what I've said, it will be the words "I love you."_

_But, sometimes, I wish I could forget all about you, because I keep thinking my ideas will never reach your hard heart. I want you to find someone you love, even if it's not me; if you think you'll be happier with Stacy, by all means, say something. You'll never know unless you speak up. I want you to get to a place I can't reach, so I know I can just give up and watch you be happy. As long as you're happy. Love means standing back and letting your feelings keep you company sometimes. But love means never forgetting._

_Please, be happy. If my love can do that, I've won, you've won, we've all won._

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**I know I've mentioned that there was more than one page of Cameron's letter, so consider this page one, like the chapter title says. I know this is super sappy and full of angst, but you have to remember that this comes from the pen of a desperate, love sick person who just can't figure everything out on her own. You would be surprised at what YOU would write if you were in Cameron's position, I bet! It gets less sappy as we go along, I think, because Cameron starts to write about the Deleyney case and stuff that will actually help House instead of just make him sad. So, I hope this was alright and I look forward to your comments! Thank you so much for reading and I'll update soon, hopefully! (This was the first time I've ever used House's first name in a story! Greg... Hum, it just doesn't sound right at the moment, but if I keep using it, it'll be less clumsy to me...) **


	12. The Task

_Hello, everyone! Sorry about waiting for such a long time updating this story. I really have very little motivation and I was just going to finish it off with this chapter, but I see the story going longer if I find the heart to continue with it. This is just one of those stories where interest wanes and grows depending on what mood you're in and how busy you are! Lately, I've been really busy!_

_So, here you are with another chapter and, if you don't get it, read the previous chapter or wait for the next chapter, because I'll explain it there! Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

The Task

"Wilson, you need to do me a favor."

The winter sunlight streamed in through the large glass windows in the hospital room, aggravating House. It was too bright for the mood he was in, laying in the hospital bed, shivering. Wilson, who had been glancing through a magazine across the room, looked up.

"Why?"

"Do I really need to tell you? Just do it for me."

Wilson sighed and closed the magazine, dropping it on the desk beside his chair.

"If you hadn't spent all night in a graveyard, you might be well enough to do this task yourself. And if you won't even tell me what it is, why should I do it?"

"Because you're a friend."

House muttered these words as if they were his last chance in the world to get anyone to do anything for him ever again. Wilson knew it was just a ploy to get him to bend to House's will.

"I can't give you any more medication. Cuddy has a-"

"It's not medication. It's this."

House reached under the mattress of his hospital bed and fumbled for a few seconds before showing the item to Wilson. It was a letter, in a plain white envelope, no markings whatsoever marring the smooth paper surface. It was a rather thin envelope, so whatever was in it wasn't much.

"Why is this so important?"

"None of your business, like I said before," House said, making sure the envelope was sealed shut before waving it at Wilson. "I just need you to deliver this for me."

"You could get a nurse to drop this off in the post box right here in the hospital," Wilson commented, taking the envelope and flipping it over in his hands. "Why send me to do this? I'm supposed to be here, watching you."

"Watching me for what?" House snarled. "You think I'm going to escape my confines here in the hospital and run off, causing chaos?"

"No, Cuddy thinks that. Why can't you get one of your team members to do this?"

"Chase and Foreman are on clinic duty. I know because I scheduled them for it. This is something I trust you to do."

"Wow, trust. We're talking about something serious here, aren't we?" Wilson mocked. "I thought it wasn't in your nature to trust people."

"There are a lot of things that aren't in my nature, but I do them anyway, most often when people aren't looking. Are you going to go now or deliver the letter while standing here?"

"This doesn't have a stamp on it."

"It doesn't need a stamp because you're going to deliver it personally."

* * *

Wilson killed the engine on the motorbike, taking off the helmet and balancing it on the handlebars. Making sure the letter was in the pocket of his long woolen jacket, Wilson walked down the all too familiar path to Cameron's grave. Fresh tracks from the ambulance and footsteps he and Cuddy had made just hours ago were still crisp in the snow. He was going to stop and bring flowers, but figured that was too much. Cameron had been getting so many flowers lately.

Standing above the headstone, Wilson looked at the spot where House had fallen, a large mark of slightly melted snow forming a thin sheet of ice, some of the ice trapping petals of the flowers that rested at the grave. Wilson read the engravings on the headstone and sighed. He was here. He could place this letter on the stone, cover it with a bit of snow to keep it from flying away too soon, and leave. But his curiosity overwhelmed him. He had to know what House had written.

Guilt ridden, Wilson ripped one edge of the envelope open and pulled out the simple sheet of paper, reading the words scrawled across the white background.

"I always knew, Cameron, except that it would end like this."

Wilson bit his lip as he returned the paper back to the envelope and buried the envelope into the stems of the wilting flowers. He had read something very personal, very private. He didn't know what it meant, but had a few guesses. Wilson wasn't going to ask House what he meant by writing "I always knew, except that it would end like this" because then House would know he had broken the trust House had bestowed upon him. Walking back to the bike House had told Wilson he could borrow until he was discharged from the hospital, Wilson ran all possibilities over in his head.

None of them fit.

He would have to keep guessing.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it! I hope I've been getting you to think about all the possibilities on how the story is going to end (the end should be in a few chapters or so...) I watched the latest episode last night, when House drives away and leaves Wilson on the bench after the big fight they had, so this probably isn't the mindset of a few readers, House and Wilson trusting one another... _

_Anyway, thank you for reading and feel free to drop me a comment in a review! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!_


End file.
